Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
