I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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