your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
worst night to have a conscience
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
