Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
