It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
i think im in europe. pls send help
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
