I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
