Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
