the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
