Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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