apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
