Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
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