Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
