i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
