You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
