apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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