Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
