ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
