i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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