PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
