Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
After last night, I could never be a politician.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
