Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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