It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
