i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I think my vagina is haunted
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
