I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
