is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
