sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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