I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
