was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
i believe in u and ur pee
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
