if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
