I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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