Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
