I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
