Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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