My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
