So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
