Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
