i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
