dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
