I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
ugly people sure do ruin things
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
