You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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