I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
