how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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