yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
