Yo dont text me then not text me
meet me or not, i'm out of control
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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