I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
