Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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