To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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