You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
cat food counts as protein by the way
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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