Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
