found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm bleeding and have questions
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