Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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